A Clone Too Many

I’m a purist. I admit it. To me Star Wars will always be “The Star Wars”; “Empire” and “Return” will always be episodes two and three. When the trilogy continued, got over talky and political instead of Saturday morning western fun, I lost interest.

It would appear, I’m not alone.

Dear George Lucas:

Remember, in the original “Star Wars” (oh, sorry, now called “Episode IV – A New Hope”), after Han Solo killed Greedo in the cantina, he flips a coin to the bartender and Bogart-edly drawls, “Sorry about the mess”? It’s now time for you to say the same thing about how you’ve sullied our memories of the original (1977-1983) three adventures.

Can’t say I disagree.

“Clone Wars” is a mess, a loud, clunky “bucket of bolts” – to use a phrase several characters say in the movie itself – that clutters the “Star Wars” landscape as badly as “The Ewoks: Battle for Endor” TV movie from 1985. Essentially just a videogame with a layering of kid-friendly cutesy thrown on top, “Clone Wars” isn’t even as entertaining as the “Empire Strikes Back” game for the Atari 2600 back in the mid-‘80s.

I’m not anxious to go watch a toon. Even a computer animated one.

Sorry, but Star Wars starts at “Episode IV” for this consumer. The light-saber fights aren’t martial arts-choreographed, there aren’t as many long CGI cityscape shots, and there’s less detail about the Senate politics. It was about the rebellion, the evil empire, and our rag-tag band that fought against the odds.

Enough of the prequels, sequels, and cartoons.

7 Responses

  1. fozzy

    The Clone Wars cartoon that originally ran on the Cartoon Network came in little 3 minute segments of fun. That’s why it worked so well. When you try to stretch that out to feature film length it is just boring. And the animation is bad, Hanna-Barbera bad.

    Top 10 Things that Han Shot First

  2. Cameron

    In all fairness, I think the first animated Clone Wars that ran on Cartoon Network was a very well-done bit of work. The creator of Dexter’s Lab and Samurai Jack was the artist for it. And the guy voicing Annakin is a better actor than the one in movies 1-3.

    And yes. Han Shot First.

  3. thekingtut

    Oh I’ll see it. Ya see, ya’ll are “fans” while I am a hard core junky. I love Star Wars. Both trilogies as well as most of the Expanded Universe. And that includes many of the fan made films and over a hundred books. Yes, I have no life!

  4. Kushin Los

    The first preview I saw, I thought I should go see it.

    The second had me renegade on the idea.

    Nothing so far has convinced me to change my mind since.

  5. Ralph Short

    I agree, the whole thing has become boring. The sense of adventure has been lost.

  6. Mauser

    I have yet to hear anything good about this movie.

    Have you seen the Wikipedia entry about the “Han Shot First” controversy?


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